This is an interview I did at the Survive 'N' Thrive single mothers' conference in Oklahoma City, June 2011.
If you're a mom, be blessed to hear what my mother did right.
If you're my mom, be blessed to know it wasn't in vain. I was watching you.
2/14/12
1/26/12
We Don't Do That Here.
My son's 6th grade leadership teacher uses that phrase with her students. I found this out when I stuck my spoon (uninvited) into the bowl of ice cream Kid Two was scooping out for himself.
He shot me a look and recited with confidence (or was it sarcasm?), "Um, we don't do that here." I apologized (but I wasn't entirely sorry. Come on, it was chocolate chip ice cream!) It was a simple statement that let me know his position without question. His mind had already been made up. His 'matter of fact' response confirmed he wasn't putting up with any shenanigans. Apparently 'we' don't take ice cream from another family member without asking. who knew.
This morning when I was wrestling in prayer about a thing or two, the enemy started in on me. Familiar lies that I so easily believe, making me feel less than God says I am, and trying to convince me I'm never going to live up to what God has called me to do -- I was letting him take my ice cream without asking.
I interrupted his condemnation. "Um, excuse me, we don't do that here." I told him with confidence. I stopped the voice that was trying to weaken me because the facts say I belong to the Father. And the voice that condemns me belongs to the enemy.
I refused to listen any longer. He has no audience here.
We won't sheepishly believe we won't measure up.
We won't walk in guilt because we fall short from time to time.
We won't give up the pursuit because it's work.
Sorry, we don't do that here.
He shot me a look and recited with confidence (or was it sarcasm?), "Um, we don't do that here." I apologized (but I wasn't entirely sorry. Come on, it was chocolate chip ice cream!) It was a simple statement that let me know his position without question. His mind had already been made up. His 'matter of fact' response confirmed he wasn't putting up with any shenanigans. Apparently 'we' don't take ice cream from another family member without asking. who knew.
This morning when I was wrestling in prayer about a thing or two, the enemy started in on me. Familiar lies that I so easily believe, making me feel less than God says I am, and trying to convince me I'm never going to live up to what God has called me to do -- I was letting him take my ice cream without asking.
I interrupted his condemnation. "Um, excuse me, we don't do that here." I told him with confidence. I stopped the voice that was trying to weaken me because the facts say I belong to the Father. And the voice that condemns me belongs to the enemy.
I refused to listen any longer. He has no audience here.
We won't sheepishly believe we won't measure up.
We won't walk in guilt because we fall short from time to time.
We won't give up the pursuit because it's work.
Sorry, we don't do that here.
1/23/12
An Open Letter to My Dryer
Dear Dryer,
I think it's time we had a talk. You've been hanging around my laundry room for quite a while, getting all warm and cozy with the washer every Friday night. Lately I've noticed things I don't like. And since I try not to complain about what I tolerate, it's time I confront you.
Let me put it this way...You're in trouble. I'm thinking of letting you go.
You used to be so available to me, you were hot and efficient. Now, you're lazy and bi-polar. Oh sure, you start right up without a fuss but half the time you don't even get warm, just tumbling my clothes around for 37 minutes without changing anything. You're like the kid who runs the bathwater but never gets in and then promises his mother he is clean. You're tricky. I turned the heat up, thinking you might just be cold. I know, it's winter and all. But seriously, you showed me, didn't you?! Burning your marks on the side of my favorite stretchy pants? You've caused me to take my weekend grungy/comfortable clothes to a whole new level of tacky.
Dryer, you're wasting space in my utility room. You look good but you're not effective. You're not consistent and quite frankly, you are doing more harm than good. That's not why I bought you. Today I had to load up 5 loads of wet laundry and go the local laundromat. And.that.was.not.fun.with.two.small.kids.
There is work to be done and I chose you to do it. But if you won't dry for me, I'll find one that will. You're not bringing honor to your name, Dryer.
Sincerely,
The House Management
Father, may I not be like my fickle dryer! Lead me to be more effective for your kingdom. You have given all of us a part in bringing glory to your name. May I not take that lightly but strive to see Your purpose fulfilled in my life. Amen.
And Lord, if you could heal that dryer that would be just dandy...
I think it's time we had a talk. You've been hanging around my laundry room for quite a while, getting all warm and cozy with the washer every Friday night. Lately I've noticed things I don't like. And since I try not to complain about what I tolerate, it's time I confront you.
Let me put it this way...You're in trouble. I'm thinking of letting you go.
You used to be so available to me, you were hot and efficient. Now, you're lazy and bi-polar. Oh sure, you start right up without a fuss but half the time you don't even get warm, just tumbling my clothes around for 37 minutes without changing anything. You're like the kid who runs the bathwater but never gets in and then promises his mother he is clean. You're tricky. I turned the heat up, thinking you might just be cold. I know, it's winter and all. But seriously, you showed me, didn't you?! Burning your marks on the side of my favorite stretchy pants? You've caused me to take my weekend grungy/comfortable clothes to a whole new level of tacky.
Dryer, you're wasting space in my utility room. You look good but you're not effective. You're not consistent and quite frankly, you are doing more harm than good. That's not why I bought you. Today I had to load up 5 loads of wet laundry and go the local laundromat. And.that.was.not.fun.with.two.small.kids.
There is work to be done and I chose you to do it. But if you won't dry for me, I'll find one that will. You're not bringing honor to your name, Dryer.
Sincerely,
The House Management
Father, may I not be like my fickle dryer! Lead me to be more effective for your kingdom. You have given all of us a part in bringing glory to your name. May I not take that lightly but strive to see Your purpose fulfilled in my life. Amen.
And Lord, if you could heal that dryer that would be just dandy...
1/9/12
People from the past
I'm not nostalic by nature. I don't have a single high school year book left in my possession or any pictures from the prom or gradutation. I don't regularly get hung up on the past. I do, however, find myself thinking of people who were important to me throughout life -- like my grandpa or my favorite elementary school teacher. Precious memories of people are tucked away in my heart.
This weekend I was blessed to see several people who significantly impacted my life when I was growing up. They probably don't even know the extent to which I looked up to them. My parents celebrated their 25th anniversary with friends from all seasons of their life and it was a joy to honor them among family and friends.
Four ladies in particular were in attendance. They were the "moms" when I was a teenager. They were everything from my Sunday School teachers to my friends' moms to the mother of the boy I once chased in youth group.
My sister and I reminisced about our memories with those ladies and how they had touched our lives in one way or another, probably without knowing it. And I'll admit, it was a little humbling to realize I am probably older now than they were during those times! Yikes!
Driving home I was a little quiet. "What are you thinking about?" someone asked in the car.
"I'm remembering all those people from years ago when I was a kid." But inside my brain it was more than that. I was thinking about my own children and their friends. I was planning to be intentional about making an impact on their friends. They probably won't remember what a fabulous snack maker I was (and I am) or how you could often grow a garden from the dirt on my kitchen floor (this is true)! But I hope someday when they are grown up, they remember they had a friend who's mother loved the things of God and her sons were different kids because of it. Maybe, just maybe, it will make a difference to them 25 years later.
Ladies, you know who you are, thank you for the influence you had.
This weekend I was blessed to see several people who significantly impacted my life when I was growing up. They probably don't even know the extent to which I looked up to them. My parents celebrated their 25th anniversary with friends from all seasons of their life and it was a joy to honor them among family and friends.
Four ladies in particular were in attendance. They were the "moms" when I was a teenager. They were everything from my Sunday School teachers to my friends' moms to the mother of the boy I once chased in youth group.
My sister and I reminisced about our memories with those ladies and how they had touched our lives in one way or another, probably without knowing it. And I'll admit, it was a little humbling to realize I am probably older now than they were during those times! Yikes!
Driving home I was a little quiet. "What are you thinking about?" someone asked in the car.
"I'm remembering all those people from years ago when I was a kid." But inside my brain it was more than that. I was thinking about my own children and their friends. I was planning to be intentional about making an impact on their friends. They probably won't remember what a fabulous snack maker I was (and I am) or how you could often grow a garden from the dirt on my kitchen floor (this is true)! But I hope someday when they are grown up, they remember they had a friend who's mother loved the things of God and her sons were different kids because of it. Maybe, just maybe, it will make a difference to them 25 years later.
Ladies, you know who you are, thank you for the influence you had.
11/27/11
30 Days of Family...Are you still with us?! (Day 10-12)
Day 10: My Kids Are So Cool, I Shared Them...
Okay, I know this is 30 Days of Family...and just as I suspected, we fell behind a little and had to change plans. The Foxy Mr and I left town for a day before the sun came up and didn't come home until late. I can't tell you what we were up to because it involves a family Christmas gift and I intend to keep it a secret until the right time. SO, I "shared" my kids with their aunt and uncle. :) Sharing is Biblical, right? I did call them a time or two so technically, no family interaction was lost. #human.
Day 11: Birthdays Everywhere!
There are 4 family birthdays within one week. Three of us live in town. We'll host a family birthday get together and enjoy the company of our family. No TV, no ipods, no video games. Just all of us gathered around the table to eat, laugh, eat, exchange gifts, and eat.Day 12: Christmas Carol Charades
Kid 2 is in a vocal music program tonight. We will all go together and then come home to a late dinner. After dinner, our family activity will be Christmas Carol Charades to keep the musical spirit going. Put 10-12 song titles in a bowl. The "actor" has 2 minutes to act out the song title. If it is guessed accurately, the "guessor" gets 3 points and the "actor" gets 5. We'll play 2-3 rounds as long as the attitudes are still good...
Spiritual application: Think about acting... It's pretending to be someone you're not. Can you think of a situation in which you 'act' like a follower of Christ but on the inside you know it's just a game you're playing? How can we be real so that others see the light of Christ in us instead of a facade?
30 Days of Family (Day 7-9)
Our month of intentional family time continues. See the last two posts for other ideas...
Day 7: Show and Tell
Ask each family member to bring an object to the table that represents something for which they are thankful. So help me, if one of my kids brings the XBox downstairs they won't see the light of day until January! (Can you guess that I'm over the video game thing?!) Let others guess what the object represents. Then each person tells. It's better than everyone just 'saying' it. This requires more thought. I'm going to leave pictures of me conveniently scattered around the house in hopes that someone will bring my pic to the table... :)
Spiritual Application / Discussion: What are the good things for which we are thankful? Are there any things that are not so good to be thankful for? (problems, trials, etc.) How can we be thankful IN all things?
Day 8: Kid Pick: Grab Bag!
One of my boys is in charge of tonight's activity. He has a $20 budget. The only rule is that he must provide some short spiritual application or discussion question and it must involve all family members. (No leaving a brother home because he is annoying!) I have no idea what he is planning...
Day 9: Special Breakfast
If we are still tracking according to plan, my husband and I will be going out of town on this day. Our event will have to be an early one before the guys go to school. We'll enjoy a big family breakfast - something we don't do during the weekday since everyone gets up at different times and leaves early! I'm thinking French Toast Casserole might be on the menu that day.
Spiritual Application / Discussion: I'm just going to ask the boys how I can pray for them on this day. :)
Our fun will continue.
I wonder if by the time this post is published if I will still think this whole 30 Day thing was a good idea?...
11/24/11
30 Days of Family ... continues (Day 4-6)
If you missed how this all started, go here. (Day 1-3)
I'm going to let you in our plans a few days ahead of time. I've heard a few of you are going to join us for 30 Days of Family: Doing Stuff Together Whether We Like It or Not so you might want a little heads up on the events.
Day 4: Christmas Quiz
How well do you know the Christmas Story? You might be surprised! Download this Christmas quiz and test your knowledge of the facts as recorded in the Bible.
Spiritual Application / Discussion: If we base our beliefs only on what has been taught to us or what we've heard, we may find out we are missing out on some important truths. Did any of the questions surprise you? How does the story in the Bible compare to what traditions tell us? If we want to know the truth, we must go directly to the source.
Day 5: Puzzle
We're putting a 550 piece jigsaw puzzle on the dining room table. Throughout the month when there's nothign else to do, or maybe for a few minutes after dinner, we will sit down to work on the puzzle. It could be all of us or just a few at a time. This is an unscheduled event but gives an alternative to TV or video games. Plus, you get to talk to each other while you bicker over who gets to work the best part of the puzzle. (For added frustration, hide the box so no one knows what it will be in the end...)
Spiritual Application / Discussion: This puzzle at first glance is a mess. We can't even see what the end is going to look like! One thing we DO know: All these pieces fit together to make a picture, whole and complete. Our life is like that. Romans 8:28 says God works all things together... Our life is a puzzle and in the end it will be more than a jumbled mess of pieces!
Day 6: Hot Chocolate Buffet
Buy a few things that would be tasty (and interesting) in hot chocolate...peppermint, marshmallows, peanut butter chips! Each family member makes a special cup of hot chocolate to enjoy using some (or all) of the ingredients. We might take our chocolately drinks outside by the chiminea and enjoy some conversation.
Spiritual Application / Discussion: Everyone's hot chocolate is different because of what we put into them. Some of us made a great cup and others are just "okay." Our lives are the same. Did you realize the "things" we put into our minds shape who we are? What things do we put in our lives that are good? Bad? What makes people want more of us?
Our 30 Days of Family events are not expensive or fussy. It's all about being intentional. A few minutes a day can go a loooooong way!
11/22/11
"30 Days of Family" Kicks Off! (Day 1-3)
This holiday season will be different.
And it's yet to be determined if that is a good thing...or a bad thing.
Last week I announced to my family we would be stepping up the efforts to make our family time a priority. You can imagine the cheers and applause I received from the Bigs, who already complain we spend more time together than most families. They'll thank me someday. Won't they?!
I'm calling it 30 Days of Family...Doing stuff together whether we like it or not. The title is fitting, trust me. And I'm willing to admit it may be February when we finally finish our 30 days. I'm packing light for that guilt trip. Each day we will do some activity together -- it may be something big, or something very small. And because I believe we should never waste an opportunity to impart spiritual truths to our kids, someone in the group will be in charge of sharing a scripture or applying spiritual application to the event.
Starting this Thanksgiving when countless turkeys give their lives to usher in the busiest and most commercial season of the year, our team of 6 will make an effort to be intentional about growing our family.
Let's just hope this is half as good in real life as it is in my head. Actually, I'd settle for a quarter as good. :)
DAY 1: Thanksgiving
Spending time with the ones we love most. Psalm 107:1 - Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; his love endures forever.
DAY 2: Family outing to Dry Gulch
This is a retreat center originally constructed to be an Old West movie set. Outfitted for the Christmas season, visitors experience a great display of lights, food and holiday festivities. The narrow gauge locomotive train ride features a display of the story of Christ's birth and presents the gospel to visitors. Check it out here.
Day 3: Prepare the house for the holiday season
We'll dig out decorations and put up lights, getting the house ready for December. We'll talk about what we can do to prepare our hearts for Jesus. The decorations and preparations for Christmas are fun but I want them to remember the real effort should be made in our hearts to prepare for Jesus. We must be about the business of pursuing holiness -- conforming to the character of Christ, rather than the business of presents.
Check back for our family time activities!
And it's yet to be determined if that is a good thing...or a bad thing.
Last week I announced to my family we would be stepping up the efforts to make our family time a priority. You can imagine the cheers and applause I received from the Bigs, who already complain we spend more time together than most families. They'll thank me someday. Won't they?!
I'm calling it 30 Days of Family...Doing stuff together whether we like it or not. The title is fitting, trust me. And I'm willing to admit it may be February when we finally finish our 30 days. I'm packing light for that guilt trip. Each day we will do some activity together -- it may be something big, or something very small. And because I believe we should never waste an opportunity to impart spiritual truths to our kids, someone in the group will be in charge of sharing a scripture or applying spiritual application to the event.
Starting this Thanksgiving when countless turkeys give their lives to usher in the busiest and most commercial season of the year, our team of 6 will make an effort to be intentional about growing our family.
Let's just hope this is half as good in real life as it is in my head. Actually, I'd settle for a quarter as good. :)
DAY 1: Thanksgiving
Spending time with the ones we love most. Psalm 107:1 - Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; his love endures forever.
DAY 2: Family outing to Dry Gulch
This is a retreat center originally constructed to be an Old West movie set. Outfitted for the Christmas season, visitors experience a great display of lights, food and holiday festivities. The narrow gauge locomotive train ride features a display of the story of Christ's birth and presents the gospel to visitors. Check it out here.
Day 3: Prepare the house for the holiday season
We'll dig out decorations and put up lights, getting the house ready for December. We'll talk about what we can do to prepare our hearts for Jesus. The decorations and preparations for Christmas are fun but I want them to remember the real effort should be made in our hearts to prepare for Jesus. We must be about the business of pursuing holiness -- conforming to the character of Christ, rather than the business of presents.
Check back for our family time activities!
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