Seriously. Unless you're playing this game with someone who can no longer demonstrate their age using 2 hands, this game is going to be painfully slow. Distrubingly, painfully, ridiculously slow.
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Kid Two wanted to play a game with me tonight. Okay. I feel like kicking some minor hinnie in a friendly game of whatever. Yes, sounds good, Kid Two. I'll play.
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Battleship is the game of choice and I know what that means. He's better than he used to be but still, this game is destined to send one of us to the ledge.
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A-5 miss.
G-7 miss.
C-1 miss.
B-9 miss.
J-2 HIT!
Oh finally.
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And for the next too-many-turns we struggle to sink something, anything.
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My eyes are getting heavy and I'm tired of saying, "come on honey, it's your turn...no you guessed that one already...yes, it's still your turn..."
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And then I get an idea. A grinch like idea. And without any further thought I'm sure I can sell this one ane end my tour of duty on the plastic ocean.
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What this game needs are nuclear weapons. No one survives a nuclear weapon. No one.
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Kid Two, I've got an idea. Let's make up our own rules tonight. Each of us now has 3 nuclear weapons we can use at any time. If you choose to use a Nuke, you must announce it on your turn and if you hit ANYTHING you automatically win the game because you essentially blow up the whole ocean and everyone sinks...all.my.ships.included. (I no longer care if I win this game.)
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The crowd goes wild and he thinks I'm brilliant. The Invisible Me braces for DefCon level 10 and I cross my fingers, toes and eyes for good luck. This game will hopefully be over in less than 3 moves by one of us.
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Nuke, A-8 miss.
Nuke, H-10 miss.
Nuke, A-1 HIT! Game over.
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He's right. I am brilliant.
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And there you have it. A sure-fire way to cut a grueling game of Battleship short and disguise your boredom.
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You're welcome.
:)
8 comments:
BRILLIANT! We have a similar game to Battleship but we have to load all our boat locations into the very slow program thingie. V E R Y S L O W. Just using it like this would be so much easier!
BTW, I laughed my tail off reading this. : )
haha....I was playing Dora Candyland with Lily and Sadie yesterday. Did a little "magic" with the card deck myself! And Lily won!!!
Can you use WMD on dinosaurs? My dinosaur spray isn't cutting it.
Kambra
Heehee, me and Matthew play battleship a lot. I'll have to file this away for the times that I'm going crazy for the end of the game.
You ARE brilliant! Though, I don't think my 8 year old would fall for it. He's really good at Battleship and it's actually one of the few games I enjoy playing with him. Monopoly on the other hand? Never.
I'm so doing that!
Now, did you really have a ship on A-1 or did you move it after he called it? ;-) I remember doing that with a few siblings back in the day. Thankfully my little guys are quite old enough for this game yet.
I have tears of laughter rolling down my face. Do you have any ideas for Backyardigan Memory????
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